Jacob was our first baby; my partner already had a son, Joseph, our eldest. I had a normal pregnancy and after 41 weeks I went to the RUH to talk about induction. We agreed to wait a little longer, but labour started that day.

It was a very long labour with lots of going home, returning to the Maternity Unit, walking up and down, having a bath and suffering quite a bit of pain. Jacob was a big baby, and presenting in the breach position. He was delivered by emergency Caesarian Section on Thursday 28th January 1999 , and probably weighed 9.5 lbs.

When I came round, I was told that he was very poorly and had been taken to NICU. The staff in NICU were amazing, and the paediatrician was very honest with us. It seemed that a variety of factors had led to Jacob being anoxic for so long that his organs had collapsed, and he couldn't breathe unaided. Together we took the decision to unventilate; if he failed to breathe unaided for a short while and then died, we wouldn't want him revived. In the event, he didn't breathe at all so we put him straight back on the ventilator.

We had fantastic support from the hospital Chaplain, and on Saturday Jacob was baptized Jacob George Churchill Sheppard. We spent Sunday being visited by our families and had lots of cuddles with Jacob. Our families used the parent accommodation, which was very helpful to all of us.

Throughout all this time the staff of NICU were wonderful, especially our dedicated nurse and we were given our own private space. On Monday we decided to stop ventilating, and he breathed for himself for the next 23 hours. Then he died, on Tuesday 2 nd February. The care that NICU continued to provide helped us enormously and made all the difference to our memories of Jacob. We bathed and dressed him, cuddled him and finally put him in his Moses basket with his teddy bear. Family members were welcomed and encouraged to hold him. Then our nurse advised us to leave before the mortuary staff arrived.

We waited outside the unit for the friend who was taking us home, and when he came he asked if he could see Jacob. He told us that when he entered the room, the nurse was still there and talking quietly to him; she said 'look, here's another visitor'. Jacob's funeral was taken by our lovely local Rector on a bright day in February and even the Funeral Director was wonderful. It was as good as it could have been under the circumstances and our memories of it are not horrible. The rest of our lives have been a sort of testament to Jacob.

We now have three sons, and have raised money for NICU, because the love and care we were shown made life after Jacob positive. In fact the RUH saved our youngest son Guy when he developed meningococcal septicaemia which helped to lay to rest any negative feelings about Jacob's avoidable death.

We had bought our large house with a view to looking after children, and for 7 years we boarded members of the Bristol Rovers Youth Team. Then my mother, who lives with us, read about the Supported Lodgings project on the bottom of her pay slip! so we have worked with that for two years. It means that we give a home to, and provide skills and support for, up to three young homeless at any one time, and I am coming to the end of a 2 year Counselling Course. Jacob died, but we remember him often and we will never forget the amazing love and care we were shown while he lived out his little life in NICU.